i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
