i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
