Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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