You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
me + whiskey = a bad person
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
