yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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