is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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