thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
