thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
