I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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