And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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