he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
