I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
