Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
