I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
