just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
