So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
