I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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