I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Life is so much better after having sex.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
