I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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