Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
