We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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