3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
