Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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