I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
