I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
