The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
