Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
