we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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