This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize