Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
