i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
