I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
