Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
This is my gift to your gina
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
