I got her a Nickelback box set.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
