I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
