you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
