So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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