Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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