You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
