If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
