There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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