my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
