I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
