I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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