Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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