i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
