I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
