Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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