dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
