ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize
